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the Lord spoke to me today. its been a while since a convicting word come to me; ive stopped praying and reading the Word before bed at night, ive ceased even being alert to my own behaviour to others. this has gone on a long time. any effort to get back on track has failed.

today i was at sentosa for IACE. i was on matt's shoulders and wrestling with sebastian. sebastian was pretty riled up and really tried to push me down into the water. after seb fell into the water i realised my cross necklace was missing from its place around my neck....

i searched neck-high water with my feet as i could not see below my waist in the murky sea water. it was really pathetic. i even dove twice and tried to grab blindly with my hands. salty water stung my eyes as i tried again and again to find it.

thats when God spoke to me. i was telling Him that i could not make it without Him. that i really needed that cross. He said:

walter, dont lose your cross. you are in deep water. i want you to remember how it feels to lose your cross which you hold dear only in times of trouble. i want you to remember the sense of loss and fear in the deep water. i want you to remember how murky that water is. i want you to remember the desperation. i want you to remember the day you lost your cross. walter, dont lose your cross.

walk on water, dont tread it.

that cross was given to me by a dear brother, xavier, who is now a lost sheep. it really means alot to me.